...the more they stay the same. Isn't that how the saying goes? I heard somewhere that over the course of 7 years we regenerate every cell in our bodies, so after seven years we're literally an entirely different person. My mother says that "people never really change". And what about nature vs.nurture? Before my kids were born I was a big advocate of nurture . . . if I just don't let them watch TV, if they just never eat meat, if he plays with dolls and she plays with trucks, etc. But within their first few weeks of life nature reared her head. I am always shocked by the strength of genetics. Can there really be a gene for liking mint chocolate chip ice cream and pineapple? And the mysterious gene that accounts for that big sigh all three of us make right before we fall asleep? So how do we reconcile our nature with our nurture? This is not rhetorical, I don't know the answer.I finally joined the times and ventured onto Facebook. That's what got me thinking about how things change, or not. Within minutes of signing on, my computer was suggesting all sorts of people that I might know. From my neighbor down the street to my favorite college gang to my mother-in-law's best friend (no kidding!). Okay this whole scene is a little scary. But I embrace the technology and jump in. I can't help but be a bit rattled by the ecclectic mix of people. Honestly, I'd never invite these people to a party together (although there was that "Wedding" back in '94 - but that stands as a case and point).
As I gather around me the "walls" of people from every corner of my life, I think - do they all know the same person? Are there any parts of me that have been the same for more than 7 years? And although I have never referred to myself as an athlete (and I don't know if I ever will) I can't help but think of how swimming and running have been a common thread through my life. Those dating back 35+ years might remember that 5 year old kid on the swim team who won every time because there was no one else racing in the 6-and under group. Maybe we carpooled together, standing in the freezing cold outside of West Hill High School after swim practice while our wet heads turned to ice. Or maybe it was the chubby 14 year old who discovered that running on the track team in the "off" season was the ticket to fitting into the bathing suit in the "on" season. I remember taping Latin passages on my walk-man to listen to on long runs (my lame attempt at homework on the run). My old college friends might remember how I headed out for a run every time I decided to kick bad habit X, Y or Z? I can't really remember if I ran consistently during college, but when I drive down Park Ave. in Worcester distinct memories of plodding along snow covered sidewalks to the park come flooding back. So I guess I did. After college Meg (my faithful Golden Retriever, aka Eukie or Phestus) and I moved to Boston where I had no work. It was there that we took up running full time. Again, I don't remember how many miles I was doing and I never entered a road race or kept a workout log - but I do remember how beautiful the Arboretum was at dawn. And I remember I once found a $20 bill on the street and it actually doubled my entire net worth! That's when I knew it was time to get a job. And I remember planning my run so that I could order a pizza before I left the house, then tuck a $10 bill in my shoe - and pick up said pizza before rounding the corner for home. Oh - those were the days. The days before heart rate monitors and even high performance "cool max" clothing - back when we still wore cotton!
Those cells change over slowly though. I grew up, I got a job, got married, had kids. Those who know my most recent set of cells are the ones with the quizzical looks when I say I am heading to the gym or out for a run. I too identify with my most recent set of cells - the ones that do not run, unless being chased, the ones that float very well, but do not swim and the ones that actually cried the first time I saw a bike after giving birth, at the very thought of the pain. But this recent foray onto Facebook and back to the past reminds me - we are not necessarily who we become, but rather who we've always been. Rather than referring to myself as a non-runner or non-swimmer, I am reminded that it was a hiatus. Okay, it was a bit long (probably two entire cycles of cellular change). I still am that swim team kid, and I still am the slowest kid on the track team who needs to run in order to fit into my bathing suit.
As usual, I am very long in coming to the conclusion . . . but here it is - if there is something that you "used" to do and you want to do it again - go for it!! It's not gone, you've still got it in there somewhere. And if there is something you've "always" wanted to do - for goodness sake, DO IT! And, do it soon, none of us knows how long we've got to get it all done.
Today when I head out for my run I'm going to leave the ipod at home. I'm going to try to reconnect with some of those sketchy memories: The warmth of swimming in the winter in a glass enclosed pool, was it at the YMCA? The burn in my sinuses when I learned to do flip turns. The sting of my upper lip when I hit the wall for fear of opening my eyes under water. Eating Jello powder (via the dip & lick finger method) as fuel for swim meets at Twin Lakes. The joy (and agony) of running on the beaches of Nantucket with a dear friend whom I've sadly lost touch with. The stupidity of running through the streets of Worcester alone at dusk (and the first time I saw a dead body!). The excitement of running through the streets of Boston and being a super-fit 20-something. And I'll remember that I am indeed who I've always been - just with a lot more life experience, a heart rate monitor, high performance cool max clothing and many memories (and a few more pounds).
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